I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize