my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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