I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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