it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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