Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
cat food counts as protein by the way
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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