i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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