i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
