I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
