Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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