Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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