We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize