So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
