YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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