just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
