Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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