Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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