nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
