she was so not down for the gang bang
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
