we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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