Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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