That's intense
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
