I heard we made out
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize