her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
