New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
