Sry I called you an 8
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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