I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize