Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
