i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
