look no pants
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
