I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
