I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
