Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
