The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
