I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
