You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
