Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
