She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
bring money and cleavage
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i now understand why vodka
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize