some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
