Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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