reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
