i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
