She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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