I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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