I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
