So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize