You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
