Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
