What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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