if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
