Pregnant stripper...not hot.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
