quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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