I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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