Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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