Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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