My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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