If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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