I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
