She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
