Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
