The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
