hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
