do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
