Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
