Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
